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题曹投胎


题曹投胎

活了80多年的曹,死于黑白无常。他准备被送到冥界重生。

一切似乎都井井有条,但曹却是苦不堪言。他死后,认为鬼魂会受到正常的待遇。他还想贿赂他们中的两个人,让她得到贵宾级别的转世待遇。但是他无常,拒绝给他贵宾服务。他不仅拒绝接受曹的贿赂,还用拳头和脚把他捆了起来。一路上,曹被打得又叫又叫。

最后,他再也受不了了。他厉声问道:“你们两个真可怜,我活着的时候可是个大官。你怎么能如此粗鲁地对待我?你为什么这么不礼貌?你尊老爱幼吗?”

黑无常最讨厌说:“浪费什么都是恶,不踹也是活该。”

曹对感到愧疚。谁说不是?他活着的时候,不知道做过多少缺德的事,但没想到死后会被鬼记住。善恶终有报是真的。

终于,我到达了冥界。不知道看了没有。当我看到它时,我震惊了。原来不仅人类科技发达,就连鬼也不甘落后。重生通道必须穿过大厅。因为投胎鬼太多,我只好排队打电话,还得去柜台问鬼小姐要投胎证。

在大堂经理的帮助下,曹终于得到了一个排队号为0099的人,而在他面前有40个鬼。按照人类的排队时间,等待的时间并不长。曹习惯了做官。他和一个号码为20的鬼魂说:“伙计,我们换个号码吧。你看我老了,请发发善心。这个大厅很冷,我受不了老骨头。”

鬼魂轻蔑地看了看,说:“为什么?这里的申请程序太复杂了。我等了三天,但还没轮到我。你还想和我换票。去死吧。如果没有很多鬼守护你,我早就ko你了。”然后我就把脸搁一边发牢骚。

当曹被这么一怒之下,他只是当场没有吐出一口鲜血,但是如果有什么办法的话,这个鬼就是一个成熟的鬼并且属于早死。他是怎么打起来的?他不得不排队等候。这支队伍连续十天十夜。曹直接崩溃了,最后轮到他来处理业务了。幽灵工人不得不再次下班。据说他要等半个月才能开始营业。曹觉得的日子快要崩溃了。为什么转世这么难?

十五天后,它终于开张了。柜台给了曹一张投胎证。当他拿到证书时,他必须通过安全检查。他不允许携带易燃、易爆和有毒危险品通过重生通道。否则,他将被罚款和拘留处置。曹很放心。他死后,家人为他烧了很多贵重物品,还有100万真金白银。在坟墓里,它被翻了一倍。幸运的是,它被存放在一张储蓄卡里,曹。

曹顺利通过了安全检查。后来鬼告诉他,除了可以投胎,还需要身份证、党员证、结婚证、离婚证、学历证,甚至确认身体死亡证明,这些都是必不可少的。否则,他不会转世。没有离婚的只需要结婚证,没有结婚就去世的不需要结婚证。我没办法。我渴望重生。幸运的是,我的家人把我所有的文件都烧给他了。

红外扫描时,身份证被仪器迅速确认。曹的名字是真的,也没有整容。身份证比真实鬼龄小三岁,总分80,合格。党员证书由仪器自动生成。曹入党50年,积极参加工作。相应的领导呼吁。然而,在后期,他不思进取,收受贿赂。他当上市长后,到处违法乱纪,不及格50分。曹和都傻眼了50分。会影响轮回质量吗?他可以集中所有力量投票给高富帅。结婚证扫描显示,曹的妻子,比曹小35岁,不属于和谐婚姻,0分不合格。根据离婚证,曹

最后,死亡证明自动显示曹已经在这个世界上结束了他的生命,经过检查,他的尸体已经腐烂了。但他占用非法地基建造豪华陵墓,占地140平方米,令人和神愤怒,不能接受,得30分,不合格。

曹的心里充满了悲欢离合,就像坐过山车一样。好在他心里还能承受,因为他有钱,有钱能使鬼推磨,储蓄卡里的钱足够他任性了。

这时,到了最后一关,曹需要脱光衣服,扫描全身,算出一个整体的综合素质分数,最后确定他投的是什么样的宝贝。他非常配合所有关于轮回的工作。很快,全身扫描后,大屏幕仪器上一连串的数据闪了半个小时,最后他变成了一条狗。曹把的心猛的揪成了一团。

重生成狗?那可不行,于是他对守门人说:“兄弟,我口袋里有张卡片,可以让你开心一辈子。你投我一张高富帅怎么样?”

鬼冷冷地说:“你还不想当狗?好吧,扔给你一只苍蝇。”

曹急忙说:“兄弟,给我一个面子,等我重生成富翁报答你。”

鬼冷冷地说:“你还想当狗吗?你真的想变成一只苍蝇,整天在屎堆里飞吗?你活着的时候,做了很多坏事。你没有照顾好百姓,却还捞起百姓,和他们离婚,带着小三去找小三。现在你不是狗就是苍蝇。选一个。”

曹见鬼魅如此强悍,绝望地昏了过去。

简介:活了八年的曹富贵之死,被黑与白以及逸仙俘获,准备投奔绿荫曹地府转世。一切生与死的秩序看起来都是井井有条的

r, but Cao Fugui can'ts bear character painstakingly however, 7 old 80 dead, think soul can undergo normal treatment originally, he still thinks bribery gives her 2 times treatment of reincarnation of honoured guest class, but fugacious do not give him Vip service, do not accept Cao Fugui's bribery not only, still him 5 flowers are bound greatly, boxing foot addition, all the way, ao of Cao Fugui black-and-blue Ao cries only. He is not borne eventually, exacting asks: "2 private parts are poor, when I am alive very slow-witted be a magnifico, you how can so maul I? You how so do not know courtesy, you honour old love young? " black fugacious detest say: "You waste what word, multiterminal of your do evil, do not kick abandon you not let sb down you. " Cao Fugui guilty. Is who says? Did not know to do how many mean thing when he is alive, did not think of to after dying, be differred to remember with concern by ghost however, be good and evil has a cable eventually really. Reached shade Cao ground eventually government office, this does not look not to know, look frighten jump, science and technology of more than before mankind develops, even ghost kind unwilling to lag behind, reincarnation passageway should pass the hall, because reincarnation ghost number is numerous,queue up to make bugle call even, even bar ghost young lady opens what reincarnation to allow evidence. Cao Fugui passes the help of old hall director, obtain an order queueing up of 0099 eventually, there still are 40 sinister plots in front, according to the mankind time of bank queueing up awaits, that still is not the thing of most day, cao Fugui should was used to when the official, he and a number are 20 ghost says: "Brother, we change a number, you see my age, you send hair benevolence, this hall is cold, the classics of my old bone does not have turn from side to side. " one face distains that ghost say: "By what? Card program runs here too complex, father is good waited not easily 3 days, had not been turn for me, you still want to change a ticket with father, you go at the same time to death, if it were not for has difference of a lot of ghost to guard, I am early you Ko, " next funny face hum of chirp slant aside. When has Cao Fugui gotten such air, only poor did not vomit a blood on the spot, but have what idea, that ghost is ghost of prime of life, belong to die early, how he hits over- , can darling queue up. This team is 10 days of 10 night, cao Fugui is direct fast broke down, good be turn for his conduction business not easily, someone work ghost member should come off work again, want to wait for half month allegedly, just begin to do business, cao Fugui feels the day wanted to collapse, how is reincarnation so difficult? After 15 days, did business eventually, bar shade difference dealt with a piece of reincarnation to allow a proof to Cao Fugui, take testimony, had been about to install check, do not allow to carry combustible explode easily, have

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